My dad passed away five years ago today. I still miss him. Once in awhile I talk to him and tell him my thoughts and wishes and dreams. Once in awhile, I wish deeply that he were still here giving me advice, encouraging me.
My dad lost his memory and didn't remember us most of the time. Soon he lost other faculties, and we really couldn't communicate with him anymore. When I remember these moments of struggle, I cry.
I was in between jobs when time neared. The doctors had given him six months, and they were fairly exact. I didn't want to take another job so that I could help my mom. She was his main caretaker, and so my presence and my help with the funeral arrangements and expenses eased her burden.
There's a big hole in my heart that I always feel around this time, especially right after Father's Day. It's a brief period of time when I stop and reflect. I reflect and understand again that the best way I can continue to honor my father is to keep going, work hard, live on the straight and narrow, and "Take It Easy."
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