Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Dad's Namesake

It was one of my younger brother's birthday the other day.  Although he is not that much younger than me, I feel as if he is a whole generation away.  This might be due to the fact that he has young kids.  My son is almost 30!  His 3 kids are still in elementary school.

Gabriel is his name, and it's Gabriel Jr. to be exact.  He was named after our dad of course.  You would think that being Dad's namesake would come with some privileges, but I recently learned that the dynamics in our household were more strained than that.  How did I miss it?  I was probably enmeshed in my own world of issues and having to grow up too fast.  This whisked me away from my younger siblings, but especially away from Gabriel because we were already robbed of almost 10 years of childhood with him.

I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters.  In chronology, I have 3 older brothers, 1 older sister, 1 younger sister, and 2 younger brothers.  Gabriel and Tom are the 2 younger brothers.  Tom was born here in the United States.  The rest of us were born in the Philippines.  We moved to the U.S. without Gabriel.  He stayed in the Philippines.

I don't recall him before moving.  When he finally came to the United States, I remember that I cried and I could not stop.  Gabriel was my brother and at that moment in time, he was a part of me that was lost but then found.  I don't know about the past and how the situation came to be and why.  I don't care.  I didn't care either back then when I saw the little runt walking out of the plane and into the gate area where we all waited.  Gabriel was finally home, rightfully so with his family!

Gabriel adjusted well.  It took him some time for him to get accustomed to things we had almost a 10-year head start on.  I guess I was busy growing up, getting married, having a child, finishing school, building my career.  I can still recall Gabriel and his awesome singing talent and how he would regale us with stories from the Philippines.  He taught all of us how to play mahjong, which is interesting because he is steadfastly against gambling now.

And I can't forget the fish.  He told me how he dreamed about fish one night, and in that dream were our sister Rose and his friend Vince.  Having fish in your dream is believed to be a sign of good fortune.  So he proceeded to tell his friend Vince to take care of our sister Rose.  That's right - Vince and Rose ended up getting married.  Who knew?  That's a love story worthy of a blog post, which for now I'll keep in my thoughts and organize later.

Let me get back to Gabriel, whom I admittedly didn't really know.  When our father passed away about 5 years ago, I didn't realize that their relationship had been strained.  I thought that being Dad's namesake automatically meant they were close.  I'm sure it was tougher mentally for my brother to endure because their relationship did not seem to be reconciled.  Our dad started to show signs of forgetfulness around 2001. It progressively worsened, and for me, when I think about how our dad didn't know who we were, I still cry.  But my relationship with my dad was not strained, and it was fine.  So I really can't imagine how my brother feels.  Or how my other siblings feel.  I'm sure the deep root cause of their distant relationship was due to the time Gabriel spent away from us in the Philippines.

I am a big believer of making sure your relationships with anyone, ANYONE, are reconciled or cooperative or settled or at some closure.  I make it a point to reach out at the appropriate time and apologize or seek apology.  After all, you don't want to leave things unsettled or undone or at odds.  But that's just my view.  It's my opinion.

So know this, Gabriel, my little brother.  Do not fret or strain or struggle over the incomplete and undone relationship with Dad.  He is watching over us now, and I'm sure that Dad, like me, is so very proud of you and what you have accomplished.  God has richly rewarded you with a wonderful, loving, thoughtful wife (Mayen) and 3 beautiful children (Hannah, Hosea and Hearken) who make every day meaningful and blessed.  You live true to the definitions of husband and father.

Do not fret or strain or struggle over the troubles of your siblings for the troubles are our own and ours alone.  And we will understand because our love for you is unconditional.  Unconditional!  I love you little brother, no matter what.  God bless you!  And happy belated birthday.  :)

Friday, May 17, 2013

Yolanda's "BMW My Ass!" Car History

My week almost suffered when both my Ford Mustang and Audi A4 went out of commission the same morning.  I also have a Toyota Yaris in this mix, not out of commission, but out on loan.  Why in the world would I need three vehicles?  That is a very good question. To answer that, I have to look at the history of my car ownership.  This goes way back to when I first started driving in high school.

I was one of the lucky few who had the opportunity to own a car and forgo the bus to school. It was a used car but functional and practical.  The maroon Pontiac LeMans was a hand-me-down from my parents.  I am not sure what happened to it.  When I got married, I remember we purchased a silver Chevrolet Camaro Berlinetta.  I almost forgot about that car.  I'm not sure what happened to that car either.

After that, the big step we took was buying a brand new car, which meant having my parents co-sign.  My dad had so much faith in me to be responsible and make car payments, and so he did it without hesitation.  We bought a red Nissan Sentra.  CJ's dad and I were just 18 and 19 at the time, and so it felt empowering and so grown up to make such a major purchase.  It was just like the feeling we got when we were approved for a credit card with a large limit.

I remember that we eventually sold the Sentra to my little brother, who one day parked it in front of the house where it was totaled by a drunk driver.  The drunk driver had barreled down the street and proceeded to total other vehicles.  He tried to get away but Good Sams stopped him until police arrived.

We bought nothing but new vehicles after that because our experience with used vehicles was terrible.  Used cars always need attention and repair work, which can add up.  We bought a yellow Geo Storm and a maroon Toyota Truck.  The name of the truck escapes me, or maybe it didn't have one.  It was a model that was somewhere between a Toyota Tundra and a Tacoma.  I was fond of that truck because it had a V6 engine, one of the first.  I believe the Geo Storm was donated to a charity.  As for the truck, the engine froze up and died.  My brother Zaldy replaced it with a new one that we bought from somewhere in Southern California.  The truck served us well until we finally donated it to charity.

The next couple of cars we bought were the white Pontiac Grand Prix and the maroon Toyota Corolla.  I took the Corolla in the divorce proceedings.  The Corolla eventually went to CJ, who sold it at higher than Blue Book value.  I gave CJ the Corolla when I purchased the grey Mustang.

Awww, the Mustang.  I did a blogpost on this car.  The Mustang is my baby.  It's a 2002, well over a decade old with over 200,000 miles recorded on the odometer, but it still can run smoothly.  What I love about it is the power of its V8 engine.  I am an Indy 500 fan, and the V8 helps me maneuver past slow drivers, as I pretend to be in that race.  *Chuckle*

The Mustang is also the first car that taught me about the ridiculousness of car payments.  I bought the Mustang outright in cash, and so I had no car payments.  In the long run, you save a ton of money.  Some people get trapped in monthly payments hell, and an even worse situation are lease payments.  Leasing to me is just plain dumb.  Car payments are dumb.  Dumb!

So why did I agree to car payments when I bought my baby blue Yaris in 2010?  I did the math, and I am no dummy.  The deal was 0% down, 0% financing.  Think about that one.  Why would anyone not take that deal?  I could not refuse it.  Oh I didn't go buy it just to get the great deal.  I needed a second vehicle that was more fuel efficient and inexpensive.  I thought about getting a used car but remembered my past with used cars.  So the Yaris was a good solution.

When did the beige Audi A4 come into my life?  When CJ needed a car.  He sold his black Toyota MR2 in early 2011 and didn't have a car to drive after that.  So he borrowed my Yaris.  It felt like forever that he had it.  After more than a year, CJ went used car shopping on Craigslist and found the A4.  It's in good condition now after some major repair work on it.  I ended up liking it so much that I drive it more than the Mustang.  The A4 hugs the road and makes tight U turns.  Alas, it needs to go to CJ.  We're supposed to swap cars but CJ is being CJ.  *Sigh*

So the used car ownership and experience still haunts me.  The A4 would not start a couple of days ago, and I had to bring it to my mechanic.  It turned out to be the battery, but my point is that you don't experience these things with a new car.  And who doesn't like that new car smell?

So I am getting that itch again to buy a new car.  CJ has been suggesting for many years that I buy a BMW because I "deserve it."  "BMW my ass!"  Just because I can afford a car doesn't mean I should go out and buy it.  Besides, BMWs are the Mustang's nemesis.  I can easily find BMWs by speeding on the freeway and looking in my rearview mirror.  It's not unusual to see a BMW quickly approach, zoom around me, and jam.  I've raced BMWs before, and they really have nothing on the Mustang V8, but I stopped playing that game.  Perhaps that is why I have such a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to BMWs.

So there is no BMW in my future or even on my list for consideration.  I have to go with the trend of buying an electric vehicle.  The Yaris is not a hybrid, and it makes sense to go the hybrid route, but I may skip that all together and just go electric.  I was a passenger in Steve's Chevy Volt a couple of days ago when we went to lunch.  It's a nice car.  I have heard great reviews about the Nissan Leaf.  I need to leech a ride and check that one out.  Tesla?  Feels pretentious to me, but I shouldn't rule that out.

What to do, what to do.  I don't need three vehicles.  I need four!

My car history is still in the making...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Great Week So Far...

I normally think of Monday as the start of a week, because Sunday is the day of rest.  However, weeks don't necessarily have to start on Monday.  This great week started last Thursday, when it was the last night of bowling in the TNBA 2012-2013 winter league.  I was named most improved bowler 2 years in a row.  That was a nice start.

On Friday, I met up with an old friend I had not seen in almost 2 years.  He moved back to Australia, the awesome Aussie that he is.  We went to check out a popular underground bar called Single Barrel in Downtown San Jose.  It supposedly is a speakeasy.  Go look up that definition and you might understand its novelty.  I really didn't.  But it was cool to check it out anyway.  I couldn't read the damn menu because it was so dark, but I believe that was intentional.  The bar tender ended up interviewing me for a drink, which was just so-so.  That didn't matter.  The company was definitely a distraction anyway.  :)

We then walked to McCormick & Schmick's, one of my favorite steak places.  We had a nice, healthy dinner, although my friend didn't really eat much.  I loved the way they presented the lobster bisque and told CJ about it.  He just might incorporate that in his cooking talent.

I had to call it an early night with my pal from Down Under, but we'll see each other again.  I'm really keen on the idea of visiting him in Sydney.  Additionally, he will probably be back in San Jose for more business sometime in July.

The early night Friday was so that I could rehearse my lines for a video shoot Saturday morning at Stanford University.  That turned out very well because I only had to do it in 2 takes.  I felt very confident and comfortable with my material.

After Stanford, I drove to Modesto to see my mom and spend the weekend with her for Mother's Day.  We went to bingo, her favorite activity.  I ended up winning a $300 game.  That was cool.  My sister joined us later after bingo.  We had dinner and did karaoke.  My mom is a fabulous cook.  Fabulous.  I'm surprised we're all not fat.

Sunday was more quality time with my mom. Our other siblings and their families joined.  Some couldn't make it.  It was more bingo.  I won $50 and got my money back.  I've been playing so much bingo lately that it is becoming ridiculous.  I need to stop.

I left early evening and arrived home around 7:15 p.m.  CJ was at my place preparing a gourmet meal.  He did not start until I arrived, and his gourmet meals take some preparation time.  He bought me a bouquet of purple tulips and gave me a reading lamp as a gift.  He made the reading lamp.  I didn't realize my kid was so crafty.  The reading lamp has a purple cord.

The meal itself was not only gourmet but also clever. CJ thought of a purple theme.  If you haven't guessed already, my favorite color is purple.  The appetizer was shrimp and Gouda cheese wrapped in purple eggplant and garnished with cheddar cheese and a pink pesto sauce.  The main course was Chilean sea bass seared and baked in a purple beet broth, and served on white asparagus.  The dessert was purple jazmine rice pudding.  The final part of CJ's Mother's Day gift to me was a movie.  We went to see Iron Man 3 in Real 3D.  We caught the 11:00 p.m. show.  The movie was well worth it.  We stayed through the end, after the credits, to catch the bonus.

Needless to say, I was tired on Monday.  It was good that Monday was uneventful, which I consider good these days.  On Tuesday, it was also uneventful.  I had a conversation earlier that put me in a quandary, but it's nothing that I can't handle.  I'm sure a resolution will come along.

It's now Wednesday morning.  I am bummed that I won't be able to meet up with Cheryl this evening.  She's on business and is going back to Seattle Thursday.  I completely forgot that I will be going to see Star Trek in Real 3D with CJ and Karen.  Karen also offered to cook a Thai meal.  Another gourmet meal and a movie, in 3D!  I am looking forward to all that.

So far it's a great week.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

My Cousins Three

I can't help but giggle when I think about growing up with my cousins.  We were friends most of the time, but tempers could flare and we could be on non-speaking terms for a week or two.  Back then, that was a long time to pass.

I have many sibling stories to tell and probably have just as many cousin stories to tell.  That's because our family is huge.  When we get together for a family reunion, the time is short but very precious.  We love each other, and Facebook keeps us connected in such an important way.  If I could say so myself, the silver lining in Facebook is that it keeps me in contact with my cousins.

I can't clearly recall the first cousins I met.  Most of them are from my dad's side.  The place where I first met cousins was probably in Bolinao, Pangasinan, Philippines, where I was born.  However, I am closest to my cousins born here in the United States.  If I hear the word "cousin," I immediately think of Carol, Glory, and Wings.  These are My Cousins Three.  Carol and Glory are the daughters of my Auntie Len, one of my dad's sisters.  Wings is the daughter of my Uncle Anding, one of my dad's brothers.

Carol

Carol and Glory are twins.  I believe Carol is older by 5 minutes.  Thus, it makes sense that she seems more protective of her sister.  I remember that Carol was capable of kicking anyone's ass who messed with her sister.  I met them for the first time in the Philippines.  I was probably 3 or 4.  I recall only one moment in their presence in the Philippines.  I knew they were somehow important because they came from the United States, and they looked rich.  They were both wearing dresses.  I can't forget the situation because it was very comical.  Carol was playing around running back and forth in front of our grandfather's house, skipping over a puddle that had formed on the concrete ground.  My aunt and uncle told her to stay still, but she kept playing around.  Then she slipped and fell on the puddle.  It was funny to witness this because I thought she would cry.  Instead, she put on this expressionless face and hid her wet behind from her parents.  She did not want to get into trouble.  I smiled to myself, having witnessed what nobody else saw and thinking about ratting her out.  But I didn't.

The grownup version of our relationship is that Carol and I share secrets and enjoy hanging out and going to dinner and having a few drinks and playing mahjong and watching sports and going to baseball games and traveling to New Orleans and bowling and talking about our careers and our children and missing her parents and my dad and running the Wharf to Wharf and so on.  I can see us growing old and doing the same things.  I do plan to bowl until I'm dead!

Glory

My cousin Glory is different.  She was only really a blur in the Philippines because I am pretty sure she wasn't the one who fell on the puddle.  When we were little and growing up in the United States, I remember thinking how smart she was and that she could really talk up a storm and tell stories.  It really is amazing that she knows multiple Filipino dialects, and I don't really know one.  With respect to the dialect I was born into - Bolinao - the extent of my vocabulary is that of a 5-year-old because that's when I left the Philippines and started to learn English here.  Glory interestingly speaks Bolinao fluently.  She also speaks Tagalog fluently.  Amazing!

The grownup version of our relationship is that Glory has the best party house to hang out at, and we both love to do karaoke.  We also run the Wharf to Wharf and hang out and go to dinner and have a few drinks (well Glory doesn't drink as much as Carol and I do) and talk about our careers and our children and missing her parents and my dad and feel that life can be tough and giggle about the goofy things we did when we were little and so on.  I can see us growing old and doing the same things.  I do plan to karaoke until I'm dead!

Wings

My cousin Rowena, or Wings as we call her, is younger by about 4 years.  I remember meeting her here in the United States when the families would get together for parties.  I remember that they lived in Milpitas, and getting to their townhouse seemed like such a long, long way.  Yes, when you're little, traveling from Mountain View to Milpitas by car could be a dreadfully long time.  "Are we there yet?"  Wings always seemed to be in the background because she was too little to play with our age group of cousins.  She usually played with her brother Archie or our other cousins George and Ping (Chris).  I remember additional other cousins more than I remember Wings when we were growing up.  But how could I have missed out on her goofiness?

The grownup version of our relationship is that Wings is the goofiest cousin I have.  She can be funny even sans alcohol.  Most of the time, we think she is drunk.  But that's Wings.  She played mahjong for the first time recently, which is strange because all the other cousins have been playing it for years, decades even.  We also run the Wharf to Wharf and hang out and go to dinner and have a few drinks and karaoke and dance and talk about our careers and our children and missing our dads and feel that life can be tough and so on.  I can see us growing old and doing the same things.  I do plan to be entertained by Wings' goofiness until I am dead!

My Cousins Three all have incredible husbands and wonderful children.  They all have their issues and challenges I am sure.  However, in general, life is good and God is good.  I have many more cousins I haven't mentioned yet.  There are Janet, Mely, Meggie, Mila, Alil, Teri, Val, Elvis, Anang, Johnny, Tinoy, Emang, Efren, Jun, Olet, Badong, Jack, Debbie, Lah, Dave, Lorna, Millette, Jessie, Jun, Eddie, Roland, Allen, Pinky, Diana, Erly, Roger, Ompong, Dempsey...I'm sure I left many out.  There are some I probably have not met yet.

Thank goodness for Facebook and instant messaging and text messaging.  Thank goodness for the proliferation of technology that keeps us cousins close even if we are in other parts of the world and/or our lives have kept us too busy and apart.  It's just plain old goodness and a blessing that I have so many cousins, especially My Cousins Three.