Dad's Namesake

It was one of my younger brother's birthday the other day.  Although he is not that much younger than me, I feel as if he is a whole generation away.  This might be due to the fact that he has young kids.  My son is almost 30!  His 3 kids are still in elementary school.

Gabriel is his name, and it's Gabriel Jr. to be exact.  He was named after our dad of course.  You would think that being Dad's namesake would come with some privileges, but I recently learned that the dynamics in our household were more strained than that.  How did I miss it?  I was probably enmeshed in my own world of issues and having to grow up too fast.  This whisked me away from my younger siblings, but especially away from Gabriel because we were already robbed of almost 10 years of childhood with him.

I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters.  In chronology, I have 3 older brothers, 1 older sister, 1 younger sister, and 2 younger brothers.  Gabriel and Tom are the 2 younger brothers.  Tom was born here in the United States.  The rest of us were born in the Philippines.  We moved to the U.S. without Gabriel.  He stayed in the Philippines.

I don't recall him before moving.  When he finally came to the United States, I remember that I cried and I could not stop.  Gabriel was my brother and at that moment in time, he was a part of me that was lost but then found.  I don't know about the past and how the situation came to be and why.  I don't care.  I didn't care either back then when I saw the little runt walking out of the plane and into the gate area where we all waited.  Gabriel was finally home, rightfully so with his family!

Gabriel adjusted well.  It took him some time for him to get accustomed to things we had almost a 10-year head start on.  I guess I was busy growing up, getting married, having a child, finishing school, building my career.  I can still recall Gabriel and his awesome singing talent and how he would regale us with stories from the Philippines.  He taught all of us how to play mahjong, which is interesting because he is steadfastly against gambling now.

And I can't forget the fish.  He told me how he dreamed about fish one night, and in that dream were our sister Rose and his friend Vince.  Having fish in your dream is believed to be a sign of good fortune.  So he proceeded to tell his friend Vince to take care of our sister Rose.  That's right - Vince and Rose ended up getting married.  Who knew?  That's a love story worthy of a blog post, which for now I'll keep in my thoughts and organize later.

Let me get back to Gabriel, whom I admittedly didn't really know.  When our father passed away about 5 years ago, I didn't realize that their relationship had been strained.  I thought that being Dad's namesake automatically meant they were close.  I'm sure it was tougher mentally for my brother to endure because their relationship did not seem to be reconciled.  Our dad started to show signs of forgetfulness around 2001. It progressively worsened, and for me, when I think about how our dad didn't know who we were, I still cry.  But my relationship with my dad was not strained, and it was fine.  So I really can't imagine how my brother feels.  Or how my other siblings feel.  I'm sure the deep root cause of their distant relationship was due to the time Gabriel spent away from us in the Philippines.

I am a big believer of making sure your relationships with anyone, ANYONE, are reconciled or cooperative or settled or at some closure.  I make it a point to reach out at the appropriate time and apologize or seek apology.  After all, you don't want to leave things unsettled or undone or at odds.  But that's just my view.  It's my opinion.

So know this, Gabriel, my little brother.  Do not fret or strain or struggle over the incomplete and undone relationship with Dad.  He is watching over us now, and I'm sure that Dad, like me, is so very proud of you and what you have accomplished.  God has richly rewarded you with a wonderful, loving, thoughtful wife (Mayen) and 3 beautiful children (Hannah, Hosea and Hearken) who make every day meaningful and blessed.  You live true to the definitions of husband and father.

Do not fret or strain or struggle over the troubles of your siblings for the troubles are our own and ours alone.  And we will understand because our love for you is unconditional.  Unconditional!  I love you little brother, no matter what.  God bless you!  And happy belated birthday.  :)