Tuesday, February 26, 2013
ShBoom ShBang
This is a sub-post. I have to write about ShBoom using a different medium to account for what happened a couple of Saturdays ago. All I can say is, "ShBoom, ShBang!" I love my sisters.
Monday, February 25, 2013
The Prodigal Son
Today is Carl's birthday. Sometimes when I think about him, he reminds me of the parable "The Prodigal Son." I'm not sure why because CJ is by no means prodigal. But he is my son.
The parable is one of my favorites because it is about redemption and forgiveness. It reminds me that sometimes I need to remove the anger and hate and jealousy in my heart that exist because such emotions are poisonous and toxic. They deteriorate your health and looks. Your hair will become gray faster. You'll suffer from hypertension. You can die early. Rarely do I let such negative feelings take over, but when they do, I need to think about God, be a bigger person, turn the other cheek, take the high road, forgive.
I have made efforts in the past to reconcile relationships that otherwise would not have ever been reconciled. Relationships with family are usually unconditional, and when the event of forgiveness happens, things can be restored back to the way they were. However, relationships with non-family cannot be mended the same way. Although I have forgiven people and they have forgiven me, they have faded into my past because the damage that was done could never be completely forgotten or repaired. "Once bitten, twice shy..."
New people come into our lives, and we are tested again and again. There are people in my past who are in my past because they chose that route. There are people in my past who are in my past because I chose to leave them. Whether the situation is the former or the latter, I really hope that the prodigal son will return because I am ready to forgive.
The parable is one of my favorites because it is about redemption and forgiveness. It reminds me that sometimes I need to remove the anger and hate and jealousy in my heart that exist because such emotions are poisonous and toxic. They deteriorate your health and looks. Your hair will become gray faster. You'll suffer from hypertension. You can die early. Rarely do I let such negative feelings take over, but when they do, I need to think about God, be a bigger person, turn the other cheek, take the high road, forgive.
I have made efforts in the past to reconcile relationships that otherwise would not have ever been reconciled. Relationships with family are usually unconditional, and when the event of forgiveness happens, things can be restored back to the way they were. However, relationships with non-family cannot be mended the same way. Although I have forgiven people and they have forgiven me, they have faded into my past because the damage that was done could never be completely forgotten or repaired. "Once bitten, twice shy..."
New people come into our lives, and we are tested again and again. There are people in my past who are in my past because they chose that route. There are people in my past who are in my past because I chose to leave them. Whether the situation is the former or the latter, I really hope that the prodigal son will return because I am ready to forgive.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Elusion Allusion No Longer an Illusion
This will be a quick blog.
I posted yesterday about some elusive items, including bowling scores. Within that, I might have made an allusion to a score I had not achieved before - a 600 series. A series means adding up the total score of 3 games, which is the typical league and tournament format.
I am happy to say that the 600 series is no longer an elusion or illusion. I bowled a 607 earlier at Mission Lanes with the TNBA League. Hooray for me!
I posted yesterday about some elusive items, including bowling scores. Within that, I might have made an allusion to a score I had not achieved before - a 600 series. A series means adding up the total score of 3 games, which is the typical league and tournament format.
I am happy to say that the 600 series is no longer an elusion or illusion. I bowled a 607 earlier at Mission Lanes with the TNBA League. Hooray for me!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Elusion
Do you practice elusion? Sometimes I do. I love the technology today when you can completely block phone numbers and never hear from certain people again. Or so you hope. This is how I keep personal drama out of my life. "Block block, poof, you're gone. I don't want to be part of your ridiculous and bullshit life." It's that easy for me.
Have I ever been at the receiving end of that elusion? Well, yes I have. But not suffering the way I elude. I'm talking about something that eludes me so much so that sometimes I simply give up. Giving up is a perfectionist characteristic, and I admit that I have quit before which means I'm no winner. However, that's okay because I don't want to be a winner in what I quit anyway.
There are many things I have tried and given up, mostly because I knew I was bad at them. A prime example is golf. I can hit a ball well at a driving range, but when I'm on the course, I can't get par to save my life. So I gave the clubs and the shoes away.
I took dancing lessons once for a couple of months and rediscovered what I already knew - that I am not a natural dancer and it takes me longer to pick up on dance moves than I would like. Don't get me wrong. I have rhythm, but I gave up the idea of becoming a ballroom dancer and just watch from the sidelines. At least I didn't invest in any dancing shoes.
There are other things that continue to elude me, but I have not reached the point of giving up. It might not be the same situation as the elusive number 6 to the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers. They have to continue their quest as a business. I continue my quest for...well, I am not sure why.
For instance, a 300 game in bowling is elusive to me. Even a 200 game at Moonlite Lanes is elusive to me. Moonlite is probably the only house I've bowled at where I have not thrown a 200 game. Bowling can be frustrating, but I continue to pursue better and better games. And I don't think I will give up. I am not exactly sure why. It could be the fact that it is the most accessible sport (yes, it's a sport), and I can continue to bowl until I'm dead. I like that idea.
I also continue to pursue something I have blogged about before - something bigger and better out there but I am not sure what it is. Most of the time, I am restless and anxious. I think it has to do with the big question of what life is about. "What is the meaning of life?" That is tougher and tougher to answer as I get older. Status quo remains the same longer. To me, the answer to that question is becoming an elusion.
Have I ever been at the receiving end of that elusion? Well, yes I have. But not suffering the way I elude. I'm talking about something that eludes me so much so that sometimes I simply give up. Giving up is a perfectionist characteristic, and I admit that I have quit before which means I'm no winner. However, that's okay because I don't want to be a winner in what I quit anyway.
There are many things I have tried and given up, mostly because I knew I was bad at them. A prime example is golf. I can hit a ball well at a driving range, but when I'm on the course, I can't get par to save my life. So I gave the clubs and the shoes away.
I took dancing lessons once for a couple of months and rediscovered what I already knew - that I am not a natural dancer and it takes me longer to pick up on dance moves than I would like. Don't get me wrong. I have rhythm, but I gave up the idea of becoming a ballroom dancer and just watch from the sidelines. At least I didn't invest in any dancing shoes.
There are other things that continue to elude me, but I have not reached the point of giving up. It might not be the same situation as the elusive number 6 to the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers. They have to continue their quest as a business. I continue my quest for...well, I am not sure why.
For instance, a 300 game in bowling is elusive to me. Even a 200 game at Moonlite Lanes is elusive to me. Moonlite is probably the only house I've bowled at where I have not thrown a 200 game. Bowling can be frustrating, but I continue to pursue better and better games. And I don't think I will give up. I am not exactly sure why. It could be the fact that it is the most accessible sport (yes, it's a sport), and I can continue to bowl until I'm dead. I like that idea.
I also continue to pursue something I have blogged about before - something bigger and better out there but I am not sure what it is. Most of the time, I am restless and anxious. I think it has to do with the big question of what life is about. "What is the meaning of life?" That is tougher and tougher to answer as I get older. Status quo remains the same longer. To me, the answer to that question is becoming an elusion.
Monday, February 18, 2013
The Reason Why I Hate Shopping...and Vegas
Self-control is what I lose sometimes. Some people who know me might be surprised by this. I'm usually the one who is in charge, in the lead, doesn't panic, is grace under pressure, and so on. But don't let that stoic exterior fool you. There are a few things that ruffle me. One of them is me, when I abandon my financial discipline.
Who instilled financial discipline in me in the first place? Why Charles of course!
My two sisters each at different times in their careers were fortunate to have the same man - Charles - as their boss. My older sister Peach is a career executive assistant/office manager. My younger sister Rose was in the commercial real estate business before she became a full-time mom and is now a personal trainer. They both reported to Charles but not at the same time. So there was a long period of time when Charles became a fixture in our lives as a professional acquaintance. He easily transitioned into our personal lives as a friend and still keeps in touch with us today.
Charles is a self-made millionaire, and he has been a positive influence on me. I could write at least several blogs about Charles' life because it is so interesting, but there is one statement he made that I want to highlight. Charles gave us the most profound advice, which stuck with me from the moment I heard the words. "Never live beyond your means." It's a very simple statement and makes sense, but why is it so difficult for many people to live by? Probably because we live by indulgences that usually cost money.
I can confess what my indulgences were before I fiercely practiced financial discipline. When I was married, we spent our money and charged up credit cards, living from paycheck to paycheck. It was a horrible way to live, but we thought it was normal. This was when I didn't mind going to the mall and spending hours shopping, looking for the most stylish outfits, adding to my collection of shoes. We would take trips and dine at fine restaurants.
We also gambled. We were following in the footsteps of our parents by playing bingo and going on weekend trips to Reno or Las Vegas. Gambling was also something normal for us because we grew up with it. I also feel it's in our DNA.
"Never live beyond your means." When I heard this statement, I started to analyze our cash outflow and learned more about the importance of our credit score. We started to use our credit cards less and made it a goal every year to pay for Christmas gifts in cash. We stopped shopping so much and determined whether each purchase was necessary or not. We cooked dinner at home more and developed our culinary skills.
We gambled less and less as we realized that the odds are naturally stacked against you. Gambling doesn't pay off, and we witnessed lives destroyed because of this addiction. We certainly did not want our lives to end up the same way.
It was refreshing to accomplish financial discipline together, but then we got divorced. It was tougher to carry on the discipline alone because it's easier to pay for a place to live based on two incomes. But I managed. Even big ticket items can be purchased correctly if you are single as long as you don't trap yourself with paying finance charges and interest.
Today, I am distanced from the bad shopping habits and gambling addiction. But I am not completely out of reach from them. Or rather, they are not completely out of my reach. It's like an alcoholic who stays on the wagon for years but can fall off with just one innocent glass of wine. Or a smoker who quits the chain but gets back into it because of a stress triggering event.
For me, I fall off the financial discipline wagon every once in awhile. At times when I have to go to the mall for some reason and see a pair of fabulous shoes, I end up buying 5 pairs. Or if I need an outfit for a party, I end up buying 10 outfits. One time I spent $1,000 in less than 2 hours because I couldn't help myself. I have moments of regret afterward.
When I go to Vegas or to Cache Creek or to Thunder Valley just to be social or be with the people I love, I end up dropping at least $1,000. Sometimes I win, but most of the time I lose. When I realize that all that cash has permanently left my possession, I become nauseated and want to kick myself.
So it's easy to understand why I hate shopping...and Vegas. I lose money, I lose control, but more importantly and negatively, I lose myself.
Who instilled financial discipline in me in the first place? Why Charles of course!
My two sisters each at different times in their careers were fortunate to have the same man - Charles - as their boss. My older sister Peach is a career executive assistant/office manager. My younger sister Rose was in the commercial real estate business before she became a full-time mom and is now a personal trainer. They both reported to Charles but not at the same time. So there was a long period of time when Charles became a fixture in our lives as a professional acquaintance. He easily transitioned into our personal lives as a friend and still keeps in touch with us today.
Charles is a self-made millionaire, and he has been a positive influence on me. I could write at least several blogs about Charles' life because it is so interesting, but there is one statement he made that I want to highlight. Charles gave us the most profound advice, which stuck with me from the moment I heard the words. "Never live beyond your means." It's a very simple statement and makes sense, but why is it so difficult for many people to live by? Probably because we live by indulgences that usually cost money.
I can confess what my indulgences were before I fiercely practiced financial discipline. When I was married, we spent our money and charged up credit cards, living from paycheck to paycheck. It was a horrible way to live, but we thought it was normal. This was when I didn't mind going to the mall and spending hours shopping, looking for the most stylish outfits, adding to my collection of shoes. We would take trips and dine at fine restaurants.
We also gambled. We were following in the footsteps of our parents by playing bingo and going on weekend trips to Reno or Las Vegas. Gambling was also something normal for us because we grew up with it. I also feel it's in our DNA.
"Never live beyond your means." When I heard this statement, I started to analyze our cash outflow and learned more about the importance of our credit score. We started to use our credit cards less and made it a goal every year to pay for Christmas gifts in cash. We stopped shopping so much and determined whether each purchase was necessary or not. We cooked dinner at home more and developed our culinary skills.
We gambled less and less as we realized that the odds are naturally stacked against you. Gambling doesn't pay off, and we witnessed lives destroyed because of this addiction. We certainly did not want our lives to end up the same way.
It was refreshing to accomplish financial discipline together, but then we got divorced. It was tougher to carry on the discipline alone because it's easier to pay for a place to live based on two incomes. But I managed. Even big ticket items can be purchased correctly if you are single as long as you don't trap yourself with paying finance charges and interest.
Today, I am distanced from the bad shopping habits and gambling addiction. But I am not completely out of reach from them. Or rather, they are not completely out of my reach. It's like an alcoholic who stays on the wagon for years but can fall off with just one innocent glass of wine. Or a smoker who quits the chain but gets back into it because of a stress triggering event.
For me, I fall off the financial discipline wagon every once in awhile. At times when I have to go to the mall for some reason and see a pair of fabulous shoes, I end up buying 5 pairs. Or if I need an outfit for a party, I end up buying 10 outfits. One time I spent $1,000 in less than 2 hours because I couldn't help myself. I have moments of regret afterward.
When I go to Vegas or to Cache Creek or to Thunder Valley just to be social or be with the people I love, I end up dropping at least $1,000. Sometimes I win, but most of the time I lose. When I realize that all that cash has permanently left my possession, I become nauseated and want to kick myself.
So it's easy to understand why I hate shopping...and Vegas. I lose money, I lose control, but more importantly and negatively, I lose myself.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Stories Behind the Hair
I'm anti-Valentine today. And it's Lent. I won't say what I decided to give up for 40 days, but it's not an easy thing to give up. Couple these circumstances of no Valentine and what I gave up for Lent, and I start to get depressed. So I've tried to distract myself. Work is endless, and I can immerse myself into that right now, but I'll blog instead on something random - my hair!
I've been trying to decide if I should get my hair cut or not. It's about that time when I donate it. It certainly has lost some of its luster because of my age. The funny thing though is that I hardly have any gray hair, but I'm sure I will end up coloring my hair within the next few years to start hiding the gray.
My hair has history and stories behind it. I've donated my hair before. It's hard to maintain as it gets longer. At some point too, I always end up sweeping out of the way so that I can eat or brush my teeth or whatever.
Sometimes my hair attracts people to come and touch it against their own volition. I'm serious!
One of my New York City memories involves my hair. I was walking to the subway station that was a few blocks from my apartment. On my way there, two men were working on the sidewalk. One exclaimed, "Oh my god! Is your hair real?" "Yes." I replied. He then asked, "Can I touch it?" I said, "Sure." That's when I discovered that New Yorkers are really friendly. He was in awe or in shock; I'm not sure. I think he was more in shock because he could not believe that my hair was real. He thanked me afterward, and I went on my merry way. This was about a 30-second interaction. I never saw them again thank goodness.
Another memorable time was when I was at JFK Airport, and I found myself involved in the JetBlue snafu that happened about 6 years ago. This made headlines all over the world. It was on or around Valentine's Day. I was catching a flight to California for a board meeting or a wedding. It was so cold that day, and JetBlue had trouble with flights. There was a plane full of passengers on the Tarmac, but it could not take off because of ice. The passengers were left on the plane waiting, with little food, water, warmth. That did not go over well, and a new law resulted from that snafu. The new law prohibits airlines from leaving passengers on the Tarmac for a certain length of time. These passengers were there for hours.
Oh I was not on that plane. I was at the gates waiting with many other passengers, and all these flights were delayed with no updates. I remember at the gate, there weren't enough seats, and so many of us sat on the floor. Someone started to stroke my hair, and I turned, a little startled but not panicked. This woman smiled at me and said, "You have beautiful hair." I said, "Thank you." It wasn't her that was stroking my hair. It was one of her young children. That was a little strange, but it eased the tension of waiting. They finally canceled the flights and rescheduled us. I had to go back to Manhattan to sleep and catch the flight early the next day. Going back to Manhattan didn't bother me because I was in a good mood. Someone had complimented me for my hair. I'm so easy.
Other times, I've been cursed at for the exceeding length of my hair. "Yolanda, your hair is in your food!"
I was at San Jose Airport to catch a flight to somewhere. I can't remember where to. I was a little rattled when I went to the bathroom and had to drag my luggage with me. So that meant I was traveling alone. When I was in the bathroom stall, I heard a woman in the stall next to me. It sounded like this woman was mumbling to herself. When I reached for the toilet paper, she saw my movement because my hair was so long that she could see it almost touching the floor. She actually thought that I was bending low on purpose, and that my hair almost touched the floor. She screamed at me and said, "Stop looking in here." I didn't realize she was talking to me. Then she said it again. I asked her if she was talking to me, and she said, "Yes." I told her I wasn't peeking. She said she could see my hair. I got mad and I told her my hair was really long. I asked her if she wanted to see it when we were out. She then just murmured. I was angry.
When I finished, she was still in the stall. I walked out of the bathroom but decided to keep the bathroom within view so that I could see who walked out. We were the only 2 in there. When the woman walked out, I discovered she was an old, gray-haired lady with a slight stoop. She was mumbling to herself. I tried to get her attention by waving my hair. But she was oblivious, not just to my hair, but also to everything else. "Sigh."
My hair - should I cut it or not? The reaction I get? "Beautiful. Love It!"
But I know that the moment I get it cut, I will miss it. And I will miss the possibility that a complete stranger will stroke my hair against his/her own volition.
I've been trying to decide if I should get my hair cut or not. It's about that time when I donate it. It certainly has lost some of its luster because of my age. The funny thing though is that I hardly have any gray hair, but I'm sure I will end up coloring my hair within the next few years to start hiding the gray.
My hair has history and stories behind it. I've donated my hair before. It's hard to maintain as it gets longer. At some point too, I always end up sweeping out of the way so that I can eat or brush my teeth or whatever.
Sometimes my hair attracts people to come and touch it against their own volition. I'm serious!
One of my New York City memories involves my hair. I was walking to the subway station that was a few blocks from my apartment. On my way there, two men were working on the sidewalk. One exclaimed, "Oh my god! Is your hair real?" "Yes." I replied. He then asked, "Can I touch it?" I said, "Sure." That's when I discovered that New Yorkers are really friendly. He was in awe or in shock; I'm not sure. I think he was more in shock because he could not believe that my hair was real. He thanked me afterward, and I went on my merry way. This was about a 30-second interaction. I never saw them again thank goodness.
Another memorable time was when I was at JFK Airport, and I found myself involved in the JetBlue snafu that happened about 6 years ago. This made headlines all over the world. It was on or around Valentine's Day. I was catching a flight to California for a board meeting or a wedding. It was so cold that day, and JetBlue had trouble with flights. There was a plane full of passengers on the Tarmac, but it could not take off because of ice. The passengers were left on the plane waiting, with little food, water, warmth. That did not go over well, and a new law resulted from that snafu. The new law prohibits airlines from leaving passengers on the Tarmac for a certain length of time. These passengers were there for hours.
Oh I was not on that plane. I was at the gates waiting with many other passengers, and all these flights were delayed with no updates. I remember at the gate, there weren't enough seats, and so many of us sat on the floor. Someone started to stroke my hair, and I turned, a little startled but not panicked. This woman smiled at me and said, "You have beautiful hair." I said, "Thank you." It wasn't her that was stroking my hair. It was one of her young children. That was a little strange, but it eased the tension of waiting. They finally canceled the flights and rescheduled us. I had to go back to Manhattan to sleep and catch the flight early the next day. Going back to Manhattan didn't bother me because I was in a good mood. Someone had complimented me for my hair. I'm so easy.
Other times, I've been cursed at for the exceeding length of my hair. "Yolanda, your hair is in your food!"
I was at San Jose Airport to catch a flight to somewhere. I can't remember where to. I was a little rattled when I went to the bathroom and had to drag my luggage with me. So that meant I was traveling alone. When I was in the bathroom stall, I heard a woman in the stall next to me. It sounded like this woman was mumbling to herself. When I reached for the toilet paper, she saw my movement because my hair was so long that she could see it almost touching the floor. She actually thought that I was bending low on purpose, and that my hair almost touched the floor. She screamed at me and said, "Stop looking in here." I didn't realize she was talking to me. Then she said it again. I asked her if she was talking to me, and she said, "Yes." I told her I wasn't peeking. She said she could see my hair. I got mad and I told her my hair was really long. I asked her if she wanted to see it when we were out. She then just murmured. I was angry.
When I finished, she was still in the stall. I walked out of the bathroom but decided to keep the bathroom within view so that I could see who walked out. We were the only 2 in there. When the woman walked out, I discovered she was an old, gray-haired lady with a slight stoop. She was mumbling to herself. I tried to get her attention by waving my hair. But she was oblivious, not just to my hair, but also to everything else. "Sigh."
My hair - should I cut it or not? The reaction I get? "Beautiful. Love It!"
But I know that the moment I get it cut, I will miss it. And I will miss the possibility that a complete stranger will stroke my hair against his/her own volition.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Random Thoughts
I don't really have anything to blog about. So many things happened today that were just routine. My dull life reared its ugly head. Even bowling tonight was so so.
I thought about March Madness and that I need to start becoming educated now on the schools and players. I love playing the March Madness brackets. I've picked the champion 2 years in a row! I hope to do it again.
I am not sure why I am already looking forward to March. February is not even halfway over. There is an exciting weekend coming, and that's this weekend. The last weekend in February will also be fun. Why am I thinking about March already?
It could be my natural state of mind to think ahead. Today is Fat Tuesday. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. It's time to give up a vice. Maybe that's what I'm looking forward to - 40 days of discipline.
What should I give up? That might take quite a bit of thinking between now and tomorrow. Hmmm, perhaps I will blog about it.
I thought about March Madness and that I need to start becoming educated now on the schools and players. I love playing the March Madness brackets. I've picked the champion 2 years in a row! I hope to do it again.
I am not sure why I am already looking forward to March. February is not even halfway over. There is an exciting weekend coming, and that's this weekend. The last weekend in February will also be fun. Why am I thinking about March already?
It could be my natural state of mind to think ahead. Today is Fat Tuesday. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. It's time to give up a vice. Maybe that's what I'm looking forward to - 40 days of discipline.
What should I give up? That might take quite a bit of thinking between now and tomorrow. Hmmm, perhaps I will blog about it.
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